_{In the cold underwater depths of my soul, I swim with the memories that have toxified my essence since the dawn of my cognizance. Dwelling close to the surface brings a breath of fresh air, but also causes rise to immense, non-negotiable hazards that seem to threaten my existence and everything within reach of it. The retraumatization notes an air of self-harm, yet the term seems duly unfair given it originates from harm inflicted upon me from others, and is now my burden to either aggressively ignore or feverishly contemplate. I struggle not to cross the line into true abysmal darkness, but I sometimes wonder if it’s the only way to reach a brighter light, like there is something that needs breaking down and building up in perhaps a more beautiful, natural form.}