With haunting humor, these words shine in my brain. The music is loud to drown out the hum and burn infiltrating the sanctity of my shielding bubble.
When I first rose, I felt the sensation that things were odd—which is odd, because I slept quite normally, perhaps even well, and literally woke up on the correct, and also right, side of the bed, which I do not always do.
I felt not quite awake as my thoughts and vision formed, and I think it’s better that I not try and leave a slow, docile state. To try and name this feeling, which I am getting closer to doing, as it is wreaking havoc within me, is to get closer to becoming that thing. I woke up on the right side of the bed—no need to get all funny, now.
Sometimes it’s better to go through the day with half a mind. Why, I have half a mind to get through the workday. The other half—well, wreaking havoc. I don’t need it to do what I need to do.
Don’t you feel like—
There’s so much fighting going on in my head. I just want to stay away from it. I don’t feel like I can quiet this mind today. I think I need to ignore it. Don’t name it. Don’t listen to it. Don’t invoke it. Don’t instigate it.
Written by Randa 